Wednesday, November 29, 2017


I read an article recently about a man got divorced because he refused to wash his glass and it hit me right into the feels.

There was one week my mum went to Kelantan for an event. For that one whole week, I realized something very disturbing and frustrating. I'm taking over her place.

In that one week, I did all the chores. I bought groceries, I cooked, I made sure the house was clean.
At that moment, I felt like I'm being a mother for the 2 men in my house.

I did everything. I am becoming a mother and I don't like it.
This is why I was so afraid of losing my mom. Because I would automatically be doing what she had been doing for the past 20 years.

Let me tell you how the men in my family behaved.
Cooking a full meal is not an easy task, especially with no one to help with the preparation or doing the dishes after that. The 2 men came home, sit down, finished their own plate, left and wash their own plate. So what happened to all the pots and woks? The chef did it. Not only the chef needs to prepare and cook and serve, she has to CLEAN as well. Talking about serving, this 2  men are like the king, they need to be invited to dinner. All they had to do, especially the older one, was sit down and eat, just like he's in a restaurant. Then there's a waitress to pick up his plate. That waitress is my mother.

Did they say anything about the food? Nope. Did they say thank you? Nope.

Nvm that one. I was already tired cooking and washing ONLY to see the laundry still there. I asked my brother to lipat kain, his response 等下, later.

I took my bath, I came out, the laundry was still there. 
Can you imagine that boiling sensation inside me.

My mum always said, why not do it yourself rather than asking them to do, since they won't do it. She said don't ask my father to do it cause he is already tired from driving all day. Well you have been working all day too! 

That's the problem with my mum, she's not only being a mother to us, but also a mother to her husband, which I really hate to see. And her husband let her do all the things. I don't like it when my mother picked up her husband's plate after he finished. He's got hands and legs. All he did was drive all day. He then came home with a full meal waiting for him and a servant to serve and wash his plate. I don't get it mum, why do you have to do this. You are not his servant or his mum. 

The 2 men in family don't know how to appreciate the women. And my mum let them do that to her for the past 20 years. Because both of them are 木头, a big big 木头。

When I went to buy groceries, my brother would wait in the car, just like his dad. He didn't care if the things I carried was heavy or not. Last time when we go to the fishmonger to buy fish, you know what my dad said, he said the place very BAU, he didn't want to go inside. So he let my mum did all the fish hunting at that place he called BAU. But when he eats the fish, it wasn't BAU at all!!!!!

I've seen my friends parents buying groceries together at the wet market at Lido and Putatan. How come their husband never complained about the foul smell of the place? How come the husbands are considerate enough to help carry the heavy groceries? How come both my brother and father NEVER DID THAT?!

Once I asked my brother to help me to wash my cake utensils because I was already tired making 2 cakes. He saw the sink and his yelled at me 酱多?!

Damn, your mum and I have been cooking and washing all the dishes and the pots and pans, we never complained 酱多?!You ate the cakes and pizzas I made, who do you think washes all the utensils? A servant?! ME and your MOTHER, you dumbass!

My mum got so tired of asking the two men doing things for her, so she'd rather do it all by herself. Why can't you guys automatically do things without us telling you what and when to do it. Both of you are grown up men. I don't want to be the next mother. I LOATHE it to the bones. That's why I'm so afraid of losing my mum. My mum thinks I'm being illogically paranoid, she didn't know what I'm about to face in the future. 

One more thing, my mum has this mindset that men shouldn't dry the clothes because they shouldn't touch women's delicates. WHAT THE HECK! What century are you living in mother?! Is this why until now I've never seen my dad do the laundry?

I really hate this situation in my family. I talked to my psychologist about it, she said if I can't change anyone I should change myself. So what was I supposed to do. DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF LIKE MY MOTHER?! 


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